today's blog: (the activist's version ~ DO) Activists, Pragamatists, Theorists & Reflectors...

What upsets me most, is that when I'm gone no-one's here to take up the baton and I'm sure I'm exaggerating the loss, which isn't really one for the group because I believe in Linda, the founder; in her resolve, commitment and enthusiasm, I have no doubt. She is an example pioneering community leader however the fire in her belly outweighs any latent abilities of strategic planning, bigger picture envisioning and reviewing of the group's activities. A group moves as fast as it leaders are able to take it.

Like any pure activist she's a 'Do now; think later' kinda gal. I used to be like that. I burnt out, I still do on ocassions but I'm working on it...

The 3 groups were competing to build the highest tower out of nothing but paper. They relaxed and had fun, they laughed and felt human. That's enough for the activist in me...but the miserable woman sapped some of my energy, threw me out of focus, and it wasn't the best I could have made it.

It's about the passion and the commitment to making things happen that makes a good leader but having healthy balancing levels of the other 3 learning styles helps heaps. That's what I'm learning this week... and work life balance, that helps too...

today's blog: (the reflectors version ~ REVIEW) Activists, Pragamatists, Theorists & Reflectors...

There's always one (or two) who'll have a go at you at some point, it's part of the job. Isn't it just common knowledge that good intenders get the odd kick in the stomach from the beneficiary from time to time, and might I add, totally undeserved... then why is it always still something that shakes me up and surprises me?

We're only human.

However that's no excuse and while whatever's done is done, it would be nice for society to take some collective responsibility for the mess Community Development Workers selflessly choose to make their business and try to demess. It's a selfless occupation this so why do I sometimes still feel like I'm the one who's wrong?

Yesterday I facilitated a session with the Jobseekers Network and a woman had a go at me a number of times. Why do keep asking me how I am? Go on. Ask me again how I am. I think you're the one who needs to learn something! You're telling them how to do it. I don't think you should be doing that. But anyways (patting me on the shoulder and looking at me condescendingly), it doesn't matter now. Everyone in the group is silent listening to this woman who is not feeling well mentally or physically or both laying into me for including her in the activity instead of ignoring her. I didn't ask her how she was once. I was going to say before she lay into me that 'here's your bit of paper in case you want to join in again.' The more I reflect on it, the more upset and angry it makes me.

The unamusingly funny thing about it is, that she chatted away glad on on the bus I caught out to te Atatu and like nothing had happened in the car on the way back to Henderson when we got a lift... some people are unhappy for other people's mistakes, or their own, but there's no need to perpetuate the cycle by making more people miserable, especially Community Development Workers like me... if I'm miserable it has a substantial knock-on effect on many others. It's just not fair.